"Dudes blowing up dudes and fucking ladies and blowing holes in things and fuckin' those too."
Yup. I love that.

"We are going to," Jayne deadpanned, leading Hanna back toward the drive, "solve the balls off it."
"That was weak, man. Say it loud, say it proud!"
That above tickled me a great deal. It's a nice scene to show what Hanna does to Jayne--pushes him out of his comfort zone. It also shows how Jayne doesn't really mind that as much as he might let on

I was fascinated by Hanna's grin and his happy eagerness even when facing the wall covered in dark energy that made him puke. It's strange and great, and very Hanna.

And agggh. This hurt me: "In her words, folks in the department were becoming 'alarmed' with Jayne." It's realistic, though, and gives your story another layer of conflict.

Y'know, re-reading this something occurs to me that didn't before. At first I really wanted more detail in those dreams of Jayne's, since what his brain cooks up would be fascinating. I realize now though that it would kind of detract from the story (for me, anyway) if those dreams were super detailed. Starting with fragments, body parts and quick sensations, was a smart choice. It feels like piecing together the puzzle, and the fact that we're not allowed to delve into it mirrors the fact that Jayne isn't doing that, either.